By Olubunmi Adebayo
*Yesterday, we discussed the need to choose our friends carefully and cautiously.*
*We concluded by saying while you and I should not be suspicious of people’s friendship with us, we should never the less, be cautious and careful in selecting who ends up becoming our friends.*
*Today, we want to let you know that loyalty is a critical test for friendship, especially when things get truly uncomfortable in the journey of life.*
*Know that when things are good and really good, many many people will be your friend (hope you still remember that song of the 80s?). But the true test sets in when the storms of life hit a fellow.*
*From the existential viewpoint of life, test of loyalty in friendship can be assessed at three crucial moments in life :*
*1) WHEN YOU HAVE NOTHING TO OFFER :*
*Prov. 19:4 says “Wealth brings many friends, but a poor person’s friend deserts them.”*
*Loyalty could be tested when your money, status, looks, or “usefulness” are over, and done with.*
*If people who claim to be your friends stay with you when your pocket is dry, then there is a strong possibility that such friendship is genuine.*
*But if they only show up when you are buoyant again, then they are likely to be fair whether friends. You can form your judgement of them.*
*2) HOW MUCH IS THE FRIENDSHIP COSTING THEM? : The second critical consideration is that are they still your friends when telling the truth will cost them something valuable? Maybe their position or reputation or status?*
*Prov 27:6 – “Wounds from a friend can be trusted.”*
*A friend that is not real will keep clapping while you self-destruct, because they don’t really care what happens to you. A true friend will risk the relationship to tell you the truth, even if you get angry for some time, before realizing their good intentions.*
*3) WHEN YOUR REPUTATION IS UNDER ATTACK :*
*Job’s friends came to “comfort” him, but when his situation looked increasingly hopeless and persisting, they started blaming him, saying : “You must have sinned to warrant this.”*
*Job 16:[20] “My friends scorn me: but mine eye poureth out tears unto God”.*
*Loyalty in friendship may require defending you when you are not in the room.*
*It could also mean not joining in talking to destroy you.*
*It is like saying “I know him or her, that is not who he or she really is” when everyone else is dragging your name to destroy.*
*Again Jesus summarized this subject of test this way :*
*John 15:13 -“Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for his friends.”*
*Loyalty is proven when it costs the other person something valuable – time, money, reputation, comfort, etc.*
*Know this: “you don’t really know your true friends until you have failed, or become broke, or become sick.*
*That is when the crowd disappears, and your eyes get cleared.*
*But here is the tonic to this subject : “you too have a responsibility to prove your undiluted trust and loyalty to others, the same way they should to you.
Always remember this : “one good turn, deserves another”. Meaning friendship is a 2-way thing. As you need it from others, be ready also to give it to others. This is the essence of today’s Reflection.*
Top of the day to you 👍.
©️ Olubunmi S Adebayo.
