By Oluwakemi Aderotimi
I was at the lowest point of my life four years ago. I was served an ice-cold breakfast by a man who I loved so much. Three years of relationship got blown away just like that. A relationship that had moved to the permanent site and was about to be sealed got shattered because of “mother’s decision”.
I was so heart-broken. A heart-break that led into depression. It was during the holidays, and I had to seek comfort in the arms of my auntie.
I was so depressed that all i could think about was plugging out my own life. When I close my eyes all I could see were faceless creatures in the dark beckoning on me. My dreams were filled with faceless creatures dancing and asking me to join them. To me, life had no meaning anymore.
One afternoon, I took a stroll down to a construction site. There was no one around, so I sat down to reflect on my life for the last time. After some reflection, the demons that had already crept inside my head and mind told me to end it.
I climbed the eight-story building to jump and end it .
A ghost was already hovering above me. I could see and smell it
As I stood up, I felt a push and I fell down to the ground backwards. I tried getting up again, but still felt the same push and landed on the ground with my head hitting hard on the concrete ground.
Lying on the ground, I looked up and saw someone staring at me. It wasn’t a living being, but dead one. I got up and looked at him as he kept staring at me. For the last two months of my isolation, I had been depressed to the extent that I couldn’t see the mysteries of life like before.
“Why do you have to push me down?” I said very angry
“Wow, so finally you can see me. I felt your energy right from afar, but your sorrows and pain have over-shadowed your energy. Don’t do what they want you to do”, he said
“Who are they? ” I asked softly pretending not to know.
“I’m speaking about the new friends you just made, there’s no light accompanying them from where they come. It is just total darkness.”
I stared at him and knew he had a story, but I was not interested to hear his story. As I was cleaning the sand from my trousers, he spoke:
“I died the same way you’re planning to end your life. I lost everything to fraudsters. I sold the only two plots of land my father left behind and borrowed a lot of money to process my visa. My mum even borrowed money from her meeting only to fall into the hands of fraudsters. The shame was too much for my mum. The disgrace was too much for me. I fell deep inside the hole of pure darkness and I never returned”
“How do you feel now?” I asked him, sitting down.
“Free from every disgrace and shame but condemned to suffer for eternity”
“How do you mean?”
“Ever since I left this world, I have not been able to cross over. People like me are not allowed. We took the life that was never ours to take.
“Suicide is the greatest hatred to oneself and the Creator does not accept people like us. No matter your goodness on Earth, once you commit suicide, no amount of Grace that you carry can ever redeem you. You will be cast out and your judgement is everlasting condemnation. I’m already eating the fruits of my stupidity”
My mouth was open as I listened to him. It was as if my senses came back to me.
Darkness had consumed me that I never thought about the consequences of what my actions could bring to me.
“Don’t do anything. I have been able to see what my future would have been like if I didn’t end my life”
“What have you seen?
“Greatness. I would have still fulfilled my dreams of traveling abroad after three years, but here I am. I left my mother heart-broken and I myself have known no peace. Go home dear because your future is still bright”
I remembered my father’s words to me: “Why don’t you see this disappointment as the way God used in saving you from pains and agony of the future.”
As I came out of my thoughts, I saw him standing over me.
“Go home and embrace the future,” he said before walking away.
I got up and left and made up my mind to live for my future.
Gradually the demons and agents of death left me. I bounced back to health and walked on my mental health and spiritual life. I held unto the love from my parents and siblings and forged ahead. I went back to work and finally, my life makes sense now.
It’s been a year and few months now and whenever I look back, I thank God for using a ghost friend to bring me back to my senses.
I will continue to live for me until the day God takes me to be with Him.
The heart-breaker has been calling for three months now. He is back to his senses and is not ready to listen to his mother again. I have made him to understand that he is now my past. I live now in the present and in the future.
My name is Aderotimi. I have the ability to see ghosts and other spirit beings without being harmed.
. Oluwakemi Aderotimi writes from Lagos.
