By Kayode Oseni
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When a couple is devoted to one another, a foundation of mutual trust, respect, and harmony is established. Each partner can embrace vulnerability, knowing with certainty that the other will support them unwaveringly.
However, once a third party is introduced into the relationship, the anticipated fidelity becomes compromised, leading to a decline in trust, respect, and harmony.
Have you ever wondered why polygamy is inherently problematic? The answer is simple: a man and a woman must be fully committed to each other to cultivate a faithful relationship. One man, one woman! Is it truly possible for a man to love two women intimately at the same time? While it might seem feasible—considering one can love a mother and a spouse or both a daughter and a sister—those relationships lack the intimacy of a marital bond.
The love one has for a daughter or a mother cannot compare to the profound connection shared with a wife. This leads to an expectation of “exclusiveness” between partners, and the fulfillment of this expectation defines faithfulness.
When a man asserts that he intimately loves two women simultaneously, he is either deceiving one or both of them.
“But there are polygamous marriages that seem to work,” you might argue. True, just as various organizations can merge for financial gain without fostering genuine happiness, such arrangements lack true unity. Remove the financial motive, and they would separate in no time!
It’s rare to find a married woman (a genuine woman!) venturing out with another man; this behavior is less common than that of married men. Nevertheless, a woman can be unfaithful to her husband in ways that don’t necessarily involve another man.
Recall that the presence of a “third party” catalyzes unfaithfulness. Thus, when a wife prioritizes anyone—or anything—above her husband, she introduces a third party into their union.
For many women, this third party often takes the form of their children. For others, it could be their careers. When a wife devotes her full attention, energy, and affection solely to her children, she becomes unfaithful to her husband. Similarly, if a wife places her career above all else, treating her home—and her husband—as secondary, then she is being unfaithful.
In these cases, the unspoken agreement of mutual exclusivity is violated, jeopardizing trust, respect, and harmony.
A woman’s greatest need from her husband is unwavering care and attention, coupled with protection. Conversely, a man’s primary desire from his wife is respect and to be treated like a king in his own home.
A man who pursues another woman will struggle to provide his wife with the undivided attention and care she requires, just as a woman who elevates someone or something above her husband will find it challenging to fully respect him.
