By Olusola Adeyegbe
“Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.”
These words were spoken in the midst of pain, injustice, and betrayal. However they were not words of defeat. They were words of power.
Forgiveness can appear counterintuitive. We are conditioned to respond, to defend, to retaliate. To hold on. To prove a point. But forgiveness is none of these. It is not surrender. It is not forgetfulness. It is not an excuse for wrongdoing.
Forgiveness is strength under control.
It is the ability to stand in the face of injury and choose clarity over chaos. It is the discipline of refusing to let another person’s action define your inner state. When you forgive, you are not releasing the other person from accountability. You are releasing yourself from the burden of carrying the offence.
There is a quiet but profound truth in this. Much of the weight we carry in life is not from what has been done to us, but from what we continue to hold within us. Resentment lingers. Bitterness settles. And over time, they shape how we see the world, how we relate with others, and even how we see ourselves.
Personal forgiveness, when it is honestly meant and intuitively felt, has a different quality. It is not forced. It is not performative. It is a conscious internal release. And in that release, there is often a sense of lightness, of freedom, even of restoration. There is blessing in it. There is deliverance in it.
This is why forgiveness is not merely a moral ideal. It is a practical necessity for inner peace.
There is also a deeper dimension. The principle is simple, though not always easy: to be forgiven, we too must forgive. It is a call to consistency. A reminder that we all stand in need of grace at different points in our lives. The measure we extend to others often becomes the measure we seek for ourselves.
Forgiveness, then, is not about the past alone. It is about the future. It is about who you become after the hurt. Whether you remain bound to the offence or rise above it with clarity and control.
In choosing forgiveness, you are not losing power. You are reclaiming it.
